Cats are Weird

I sat down with every intention of writing a serious and emotional post this evening. Something that might illuminate the life a little, or perhaps penetrate one of the deeper mysteries of the universe. You know, a modest and reasonable goal for a five-hundred word space.

And then, well, my cat decided to jump into my lap.

This isn't a random or rare thing. Any pet owner, and more precisely, any cat owner, will tell you that your beloved pet will oscillate, much as a corner fan might, between loving you dearly and not really caring about whether you're alive or dead. Well, maybe it's not that way with dogs; they always seem happy to see you. But with cats, well... sometimes, your cat will pounce on you, lick your arm with her sandpaper tongue, walk across your keyboard as you try to type, anything at all to get your attention. Other times, your attempt to sit next to her on your bed (it's not like the cat paid for it, after all) and you'll be greeted with bored indifference, at best.

So it always amuses me whenever my cat decides that now is "pay attention to me" time, because it never fails that "petting time" and "I have to do work now" time are, in fact, the exact same time. It could be that our schedules simply coincide in this unusual manner, that we're simply encountering an overlap, one that calls for a careful and intense consideration of our individual priorities.

It could be that.

Or, and I find this more likely, I think that any time I'm looking at something that is not my cat for any length of time (read, more than five seconds) my cat begins to feel jealous and has to insert herself into the equation. The fact that I'm aware of her mind games and yet continue to fall for them only shows how foolish and illusory my perception is that my humanity marks me as the apex species around here.

As to why I put up with these gross encroachments on my working time, well, that's a question I ask myself whenever my attempt to say "not now, kitty," is met with a stern swat of the paws. I mean, really, aside from being adorable, what has my cat ever done for me?

Well, there was that one time I was watching her as she perched on the windowsill. Maybe your cat is different, I don't know, but mine absolutely loves to sit on the window and watch birds, like it's a version of television for cats, or something. Well, one time, she's sitting there, all alert and attentive, and a bird flew by the window; a split-second later, there's the loud thunk of my precious little pet colliding with the solid glass. Yes, indeed, she tried to pounce on the bird.

What really amuses me is the fact that she was probably fast enough that had there been no window there, she would have caught it. Which, of course, leads to the more morbidly amusing image of my cat riding a bird all the way down to the earth and pavement outside my window.

Because, you see, I live on the second floor, not the first.