On Heads and the Aches Therein

What to talk about this fine evening? You'll have to forgive me if I'm not my usual chipper and witty self, although, admittedly, I don't think anybody would ever describe me in those terms ever, unless witty was being used as a euphemism for sarcastic. I happen to have the most terrific headache at the moment and I feel the need to share this fact with you all even though blogging about physical discomfort ranks only slightly more boring than blogging about food on the "stuff nobody cares about" scale.

Seriously, this headache is wicked bad. It was so bad, in fact, that I actually felt it before I even woke up this morning, which led to the curious experience of dreaming about being in pain and having this vague sense that, as bad as I felt in my dream, it was going to suck when I realized it wasn't actually a dream, after all.

The worst thing (for everybody who knows me, anyway) is that when I start to feel this way, I never know quite how to act. Do I recognize that I may, in fact, be getting sick and spend a few days holed up in my dwelling to prevent the outbreak of communicable diseases? That would certainly be the courteous thing to do.

On the other hand, that also feels a little bit wimpy. I'm tough, I tell myself, I can just deal with this with a grunt and a good old-fashioned elixir of whiskey and thumbtacks, and maybe a few reps of one of those hilariously large triangle weights. And then I'll go find the nearest bear and eat it, because that's how much of a man's man I am, even though I'm a vegetarian, and also afraid of bears. Anyway, my point is that surely no mere headache could slow me down.

Hilariously, though, my agony has only intensified as I write, as if in response to the ridiculous hyperbole of my sarcastic claim.

In non-cranial news, I was going to complain about the fact that my cat ran away this morning, but then she came back, which makes me very happy but now means I have nothing else to write about, which is why I'm whining about headaches.

Jesus Christ, this really puts that piece we read about the migraines into perspective. I mean, this doesn't even feel half as bad as what that author described; I was able to drive home without incident (I think) but man... if I had to deal with this chronically, I can't even imagine. It's one of those things, you know? I would never think to be grateful for being the kind of person who (usually) only gets headaches when I've had too much to drink the night before.

I think that will about wrap it up for tonight, although I feel bad about having nothing of substance to ramble on about. But the reality is that some days, you have something worth saying, some days you have something that's not worth saying but can be said in a humorous manner that will make a person laugh, and some days, you just want to turn off the lights, shut off the painfully bright computer monitor and wonder if maybe it's possible to think so many thoughts that your skull explodes like a pinata.