Beginnings

And so 2010 begins.

As we move into the next decade, I find myself wondering what it will be, to me and to the world in general. We do not often think about our time in decades, at least not in ways to relate to us personally. I do not look back on the past ten years and think that this was the decade in which I learned to drive, moved out on my own. That this was the decade that I first decided I wanted to become a writer. The decade in which I wrote my first book.

The decade in which I first fell in love. The decade in which I had my heart broken for the first time. And the decade when I moved past those feelings and resolved to carry on.

The 00's (I don't know what that would actually sound like if I said it out loud, but it works well enough on paper) was the second complete decade of my life, and yet it was the most meaningful one to me so far, given that so much of the person I am today was formed in the last ten years. My hopes and dreams, my fears, my desires.

What will the next ten years be? Who will I be, when this new decade draws to a close? What will I be?

I remember thinking, at the beginning of the last decade, where I would be in ten years' time. I was 13, trying to imagine what it would feel like to be 23. It seemed an impossible age, mythical and unattainable. And now here I am, wondering who and what I'll be when I'm 33, and that, too, seems impossible. It does not seem like it could be true, that I'll be 33 one day. That sounds like I'll be an adult, a mature (hopefully), responsible (hopefully) grown up individual. Maybe with a family? Maybe a career? Will I be a father? A husband?

I could never have imagined myself as I am now, at 13. I thought then of things and all that I could do, all that I could have. I could not and did not think of what it would be, how I would feel, what my mind would be.

Time is a strange and curious thing, isn't it?

Ever does it march on, and the only truly constant thing about it is how fluidly and easily it slips away from us, most of all when we least expect it.