Unwrapping "The End"

I'm in a bit of a bind.

So, I have this novel that I've been working on for the past month and a half. I wrote every day since November 1st, through papers, sicknesses, video game addictions and holidays. I wrote on Thanksgiving. It's the most writing I've ever done in one consecutive stretch and I'm proud of myself for making this personal milestone. To top it all off, I even succeeded at the NaNoWriMo goal of 50,000 words in thirty days. Not bad, you know?

And then, about a week ago, I hit a point where it felt like I'd reached "the end" for the current story. I'm not done with the characters, of course; there's still a lot left to tell with them. But I keep telling myself that it feels like a new book, that it won't work with the way the current plot is paced. But the more I think about it, the more I wonder if that's true, or if I'm not just trying to justify stopping when I did, breaking my streak. It has not escaped my notice that I've been extremely lax in getting any writing done this past week. Supposedly, it was because I was taking a break between the writing and editing process for the current manuscript. I told myself that I deserved some time off.

I guess what will determine whether I'm right about that or not is whether or not I can force myself to start again. This blog post is evidence of that desire; the fact that even though I don't know what to do about my novel situation, I'm still going to show up, as it were, I'm still going to write. I mean, hell, most of the writing I've been doing over the past three months has been this blog... if you look back at the archives, the novel is really only a recent addition to my life and my focus.

But back to the problem at hand: do I keep "the end" where it is right now on the current novel? On the one hand, it "feels" like a good ending to me, with a great line to leave off on, but on the other hand, where will I pick the story back up with these characters? I feel like that's a critical question to ask myself, because if I'm going to continue the conversation and the scene in the next book, does that not indicate that these really just are two pieces of the same story? There's also the fact that I feel it's not really long enough to be considered a true novel (most of the research I did indicates that 80,000 is considered the minimum length for a novel, although some place the number as high as 100,000 and others lower, around 70,000. Anything lower than 70,000, however, doesn't seem to get much attention by "novel" standards. Which would make this a novella, which, in my opinion, does not sound nearly as impressive or sexy. Because, of course, writing is all about what's sexy.

What was I saying?

Oh, right, my current problems. Whether to unwrap the work and press on, to take what was going to be "book two" material and keep it in "book one." The reasons against it? Worries that it won't fit with the current pacing, that the narrative structure will feel strange. On the other hand, do all stories have to fit into the standard arc of "rising action/climax/falling action?" Or can there be deviations, moments of excitement and escalation followed by more even sequences?

This is why I'm writing this particular post: because it's helping me to sort through these questions in my head (and also, I don't feel like quite a failure if I don't actually work on the novel tonight.) And to be honest, as I write out these problems and I think about what I would say if I started "Chapter 1 of Book 2" at this very moment, would I continue from the previous scene? Or would it be six months in the future? And even if it was six months in the future, why would that have to be a separate book entirely? More and more, it feels like my decision to stop when I did was a mistake. I start to wonder if I felt like I had a good scene to end on and I didn't know what else to say that night, so I just said, "okay, done!"

That would make sense to me, to be perfectly honest. I wrote before that it felt very anti-climactic, that it didn't really give me any sense of achievement or accomplishment that I thought I would have felt. I wonder now if that was because I stopped before I should have, that the fact that I still have "so many ideas" for the story does not mean I'm ready for a sequel, but that there is more to tell in the current tale.

I'm going to think on it for a little while longer, because while reflecting on these things has helped organize my thoughts a great deal, I don't think I should just jump right back into it. I want to be sure, before I make that decision. I want to do this thing right.

Most of all, I want to go back to that clean, wonderful experience of writing recklessly for an hour a day and feeling the sense of accomplishment and achievement that comes from living my dream.